July 12, 2008

Horror stories of Airplanes

* as we prepared for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position
* There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…
* Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of and emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments’’
* We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we well escort you to the wing of the airplane
* Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately
* Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it’s warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Iceland, where it’s dark, windy and raining. Why in this world y’all wanna go there I really don’t know
* A pilot said this : folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Fell free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land…it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern
* And, after landing, the pilot said : thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us business as much as we enjoyed taking you for ride.
· As we waited just off the runaway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head steward announced on the intercom, “ this aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft’’
* Here are a few heard from Northwest : should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children
* As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses. TQ
xoxo <3

No comments:

Post a Comment